Relationship with a key person

There are a few practical steps that nursery staff, key people and parents can take to help babies, toddlers or young children settle into their new relationship with their key person. These will also help ensure that a secure relationship develops.

Helping with the settling in process

A child’s key person is the ideal person to support the child through the settling-in process. This is as much an opportunity for the key person to get to know the child as it is for the child to start getting used to the nursery setting and routine. It is very helpful if the key person can plan the settling-in process together with the child’s parents, so that it can be adapted as far as possible to meet the child’s individual needs. The carer should be able to spend as much time as necessary in the nursery with the child to settle them.

Effectively communicating with parents and carers about how a child is doing

Communicating effectively with parents is a vital aspect of the key person’s role. Nurseries have different way of doing this - some write notes and observations in a book, others catch up with parents verbally at the beginning or end of the day. This is particularly important for babies and younger toddlers, who are not able to talk about what they have been doing during the day. Open communication between key person and parents or carers helps parents feel ‘in the loop’ about their child’s experiences at nursery. It also gives parents a clear communication channel if they have concerns or important information to share about their child. Young children and even babies pick up on whether their parents trust the person who looks after them at nursery, so developing this relationship is really important.

Being there during tricky transition periods

Even after a child has settled into nursery, the key person is particularly helpful at times of transition, such as beginning or ending nursery, returning after a weekend or a holiday break, or even simply changing from one activity to another. It is common for young children to feel scared, anxious, or even cross when saying goodbye to a person or an activity or changing from one caregiver to another. If a child has a reliable and empathetic adult, who they can expect to be sensitive to their feelings and needs, at these tricky times, it will do much to help them manage and master these feelings.

Implementing a ‘key person buddy system’ for times of absence

Part of the strength of the key person-child relationship is its consistency – the key person is a familiar adult who is present and available whenever the child is at nursery. However, like parents, key people can’t be available to children 100% of the time, and sometimes there will be unexpected changes. A ‘key person buddy system’, in which children are allocated a second key person who will step in if their usual key person is not available, is a helpful way to support children with unexpected key person absences. Whenever possible, it is helpful to give children as much warning as possible if their key person is going to be absent or if there is going to be a change of key person. At times of intense stress, such a health crises, children and parents may have to manage abrupt, unplanned changes to nursery staffing. Nursery closures may mean a sudden separation from the key person.

• Guidance for parents and early years staff on managing the return to nursery, following a period of lockdown.

• Guidance on supporting parents and children via digital platforms.