Parents and carers with mental health difficulties

‘Mental health difficulties’ is a general term which includes a range of challenges people experience with their mental health, from everyday worries to more serious, long-term conditions like bipolar disorder or rarer conditions like schizophrenia.

Mental health difficulties affect one in four people each year. Anxiety and depression occur in one in ten people at any given time.

Mental health difficulties during the perinatal period and early years is very common, affecting up to 20% of women. Some of the mental health difficulties mothers experience are postnatal depression, anxiety, post-partum psychosis, obsessive compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. Partners are also affected by the transition to parenthood and can struggle to cope.

Sometimes parents and carers with mental health difficulties need support from other people like family members, neighbours or professionals. Sometimes they can manage their condition without support although this might not be very easy.

We all go through stressful life events which can affect our normal behaviour. Short-term changes like irritability, sleep disturbances, being angry or sad can happen at these times and aren’t usually a sign of poor mental health. However, sometimes behaviour changes are a sign of poor mental health and can happen quickly or over a period of months. When someone becomes mentally unwell, they may find it hard to do everyday things and they may feel confused and upset a lot of the time.

Below are some of the common changes to look out for:

• being anxious or irritable

• sleeping too much or too little

• mood swings

• starting arguments with people

• trouble concentrating

• memory problems

• not wanting to be around other people

• eating too much or too little

• having suicidal thoughts

• becoming suspicious or paranoid and believing people are talking about them

• focusing on odd beliefs or ideas

• stopping eating or washing properly

There are well-established links between parental mental illness and poor outcomes in children, with the effects experienced from conception through to adulthood. If parents experience mental health difficulties during pregnancy and the first year of a baby’s life, this can affect their ability to bond with and care for their child. This can also impact a child’s physical, psychological, behavioural, social and intellectual development and can influence the child's ability to achieve their potential.

Poor mental health in parents and carers can affect children differently according to the severity and type of mental health difficulty, the child’s age and stage of development, the child’s temperament, and protective factors within the environment.

It can be hard for parents and carers to seek help when they’re facing mental health difficulties. Some of the things that get in the way of speaking up are stigma and negative societal attitudes towards mental health problems, shame and embarrassment, and fears their children will be removed or that they will lose custody.

It is important for childcare practitioners to develop a positive relationship with parents and carers and to build trust, as this is critical to providing the best possible care to their children. Having a conversation with parents and carers about their mental health difficulties needs to be handled sensitively and a good relationship can go a long way to broaching concerns about whether the parent or carer is struggling to cope. Childcare practitioners can support parents and carers to access support by providing them with resources and information about mental health, conveying sensitivity and understanding of the barriers to speaking about mental health and trying to allay fears of the consequences of accessing mental health support.

It is vital that parental mental health difficulties are identified early on so that families can receive appropriate help and support as soon as possible. You are in a unique position to notice the signs and provide support. For parents and carers to receive appropriate help, early years staff need to ask the right questions which highlights the importance of good-quality training and supervision.

Working with parents and carers who may have mental health difficulties can at times be emotionally challenging, and early years staff need to have the skills, competencies and supervision to enable them to provide support so that the best interests of the child are kept in mind.

For staff wellbeing, sometimes simple things can make the most difference, for instance support from colleagues, access to supportive management and access to a physical environment that promotes wellbeing. Getting outside support can also help, for example by leaning on peer networks, using local health services or paying for specific support like mindfulness or counselling.

If you are concerned that a parent or carer might have a mental health difficulty, offer them a space to talk about their concerns and listen in a non-judgemental and empathetic way. Ask their permission to refer them to an appropriate mental health resource, or if they prefer you can signpost them to sources of support. There are many resources and organisations that offer help and support for mental health problems, some of which are listed below:

• GP Referral to NHS mental health services

• Self-referral to NHS psychological talking therapies team (IAPT)

• Every mind matters website: https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters 

• Urgent local NHS 24/7 mental health telephone lines

• Mind Info lines: 0300 123 3393

• Samaritans free telephone line open 24/7: 116 123

• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): 0800 58 58 58 or https://www.thecalmzone.net/