Kayden’s story

Kayden recently returned to mainstream education after two years at the Pears Family School. Founded and sponsored by Anna Freud, the school helps children with emotional and behavioural difficulties return to the education that’s right for them. 

I was quite young when I moved in with my nan. I struggled with not understanding the reason why I had to. This meant I developed some emotional difficulties. For example, at primary school, I used to get quite attached to staff and got agitated and annoyed when I had to move to different classes. I also had issues with my impulse control. I didn’t want to do things if I thought they weren’t fair.  

Going to secondary school was a big change. My primary school was quite small – only one class per year - so the move was stressful for me. I felt nervous and anxious being in a larger school, which made it hard for me to adapt, and I got into trouble. I was also hanging around with the wrong people who would tell me to do things and then I would. That led to internal and then external exclusions.  

When I first came to the Family School – this was 31 October which I remember because it was Halloween - it was all new and I didn’t want to go. I spent lots of time arguing and didn’t want to do the work. However, the school is very different to mainstream schools. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. You’re given a consequence on the day you do something but with a new day it’s gone, you have a fresh start. I’ve also learnt to take responsibility for my actions. I now know that I don’t always need to be right, and if you do something wrong, you should own your behaviour.  

I go to an acting class every Wednesday which I enjoy because it’s another place to express yourself. I like acting as it’s a way of going outside of my own life. It can be exciting playing a different character who’s not Kayden, and whatever character I’m playing that’s who I am. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, so being on set can be hard. I’ve been in two independent films, and you spend a long time sitting down, waiting and doing repetitive things, but it’s something I really want to do.  

After two years in Pears Family School, I recently moved to a mainstream school. I’m feeling good about the change because I feel ready. The new school seems like a very accepting place too, and they said there’s a drama course I can go on. I’m a bit scared but, at the same time, I know I can’t stay in Pears Family School forever. I’m going into the unknown and I don’t know what will happen, but you can’t plan everything in life.” 

Dee Seaton, Kayden’s grandmother, said: 

“Having Kayden be internally and then externally excluded was hard. You want your child to thrive, but you can see them being overwhelmed and there’s not enough help. The atmosphere is so different in the Pears Family School. There are meetings every Wednesday with other parents and carers, and I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, and I’ve learnt so much. They teach you about the brain, how it impacts behaviour and how to deal with it.  

“I’ve seen the change in Kayden too, Before, he was very argumentative and, while he can still be infuriating, now he recognises his mistakes. The school has helped us as a family to be more communicative and discuss problems rather than arguing all the time. 

“Pears Family School also gives you confidence in yourself as a carer and your child too. At secondary school, Kayden wanted to be friends with people, even if they weren’t the right sort of friends for him, and his confidence was low. Being at Pears Family School has changed this. If someone asks him to do something and he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, Kayden will now say no.  

“The school he has moved to is very good and they understand the needs of neurodiverse children and those with behavourial difficulties. They understand the importance of movement breaks and allowing children to step out of lessons if they feel overwhelmed. It feels very welcoming, like an extension of Pears Family School.” 

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Pears Family School is a unique alternative provision (AP) school that supports children and young people aged 5–14 to develop skills related to social, emotional and mental health. This can help them transition back to mainstream or other specialist schools. Using learning from the Parent Coaching for Pupil Progress programme developed by Anna Freud, the school builds partnerships with parents and carers to help them embed changes with their child at home.  

Anna Freud wants all schools to be mentally healthy. This means creating a school culture that prioritises belonging and relationships, where every student feels included and supported and where staff and families work in partnership.

Learn about our support for schools and colleges

About Anna Freud 

Anna Freud is a mental health charity and we’ve been supporting children and young people for over 70 years. We listen to and learn from their diverse voices, and integrate this with learnings from our science and practice to develop and deliver mental health care. This holistic approach has world-changing potential – our training, schools support, networks, partnerships and resources equip those who impact children and young people’s lives with the knowledge and skills to support their mental health. 

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